This dreadful month

I hate March. It's always been one of my least favorite months, but now it really is the worst. When the calendar turns, it's like a sudden tightening in my throat, a pounding in my chest, a sense of dread and sorrow and pain that this month brings. As March 18 draws closer, these feelings get stronger. I am now in the thick of it. I know that once that horrible date passes, nothing will be different. Natalie will still be gone. But maybe I can breathe a little easier knowing that I have gotten over another major hurdle -- the second anniversary. Two years. It's unbelievable. I've been crying a lot. There's a lot of other sad things going on in my life right now, which I may write about soon. For now, I just need to say it out loud: I HATE MARCH!!