This past Monday, June 12th, was graduation day for Classical High School’s class of 2023. Natalie should have been there.
For the past month or so—ever since people starting posting prom and graduation photos of their happy, glowing seniors on Facebook—my grief has been feeling extra heavy and sad.
Of course, we’ve missed many milestones over the years—from all the school “firsts” to all the “lasts” and a lot in between. But high school graduation is a biggie. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event, the culmination of all those school years of childhood and the transition to becoming an adult.
It’s another painful reminder she’s gone. Not that I ever need to be reminded—I think of Natalie every single day. But somehow this missed milestone stings worse than most of the others.
I wasn’t prepared for it—it was just suddenly here. All those prom photos of other people’s kids looking so radiant and happy. All those graduation photos—most of which I haven’t even been able to bring myself to look at—feel like a punch in the gut.
To be clear, I don’t want anyone reading this to think I bear any ill feelings toward anyone. I am truly happy for all of this year’s grads and congratulate you all on this proud and joyous achievement. But the photos did serve as a reminder of all I’m missing with Natalie, all SHE IS MISSING. It will forever break my heart.
I’ve been struggling to write this for weeks now because part of me really doesn’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade. But another part of me is compelled to find a way to honor Natalie at what should have been her graduation, too.
So, my message is simple. As we celebrate this year’s grads, let’s not forget the ones who didn’t make it to this day. Let’s not forget Natalie Joy. I can imagine her beaming smile and sparkle in those beautiful big brown eyes. I am forever proud of you, my sweet baby girl.
