Last night I was at my grief support group meeting of
TheCompassionate Friends, and a light bulb suddenly went off in my
brain.
Anyone who has seen my Facebook feed over the last 9 or 10
months cannot escape my frequent and unabashed enthusiasm for Bernie Sanders as
my candidate of choice for President of the United States. I don’t know for
sure, but I suspect that many people were surprised by my sudden outburst of
political fervor (normally I stick to personal updates with the occasional GMO
labeling or “save the bees” type of activism). I have to admit, it kind of
caught me by surprise, too.
What I already knew
On the surface, I support Bernie because I believe that he
is a rare kind of politician who has the integrity and courage to stand up for what’s
right—fairness, equality, and justice for all including our planet—without
being swayed by Big Money interests or political favors. And I agree with his
priorities and his positions on the issues.
What’s more, because Hillary Clinton is running again this
year, the inevitable comparisons to the 2008 presidential race have caused me
to become aware that I really don’t remember very much about that election. I
was in a fog in 2007 and 2008 having just suffered the death of my precious daughter
Natalie (July 29, 2005–March 18, 2007).
What I realized last
night
Last night it dawned on me how my passion for Bernie is also
an expression of my grief. It’s a little complicated as grief can take some unexpected turns, but I’ll do my best to
explain.
First, a few notes
about my political background and why I support Bernie
I believe that this election year, the United States is at a
critical crossroads in its history. For most of my 49 years our country has
been sinking into a dangerous and inherently “un-American” system that has
turned our democracy into an oligarchy—a system of government in which a few
rich and powerful people are in control.
In 1984 I became eligible to vote in my first presidential
election. I have always taken my right to vote seriously and have exercised it faithfully in every election since—presidential and otherwise. With the
exception of 1988 when Jesse Jackson ran for the democratic nomination (I saw
him speak three times that year), no candidate has ever really gotten me
particularly excited.
It seems like every time
election year rolls around, it’s the all-too-familiar choice between the
“lesser of two evils.”
The truth is, aside from voting, I have never really been
involved in politics.
Now, for the first time in my life, a candidate has come
along and ignited a fire in my political being. I’ve almost become an activist—even going so far as to become a delegate candidate on the Rhode Island democratic ballot. Thanks to Bernie Sanders—a man who
has a proven record of fighting for equality and justice his entire adult life
(just look at his
various speeches over the years)—I am now keenly aware that the middle class has been
shrinking and the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.
Roslyn’s and Gabriel’s
future
And I started thinking about my children’s future: what kind
of world are we going to leave them and their kids? Bernie’s idea of
tuition-free public universities is sounding pretty darn good right now. So is
his idea of universal, single-payer healthcare. Not to mention his deep
commitment to addressing climate change. I want the world to be a better place
for my children, not a dark, dystopian future that we see in popular fiction
like “The Hunger Games,” where an oligarchic “Capital” controls everyone else
through fear and propaganda for its own gain.
But in order to make any of these things happen, we need to
get Big Money out of our political process. It’s not democracy when anything
other than the will of the majority of people takes precedence. Yet the
influence of Big Money and special interests has become standard operating
procedure in our country. Bernie wants to fix the system.
A more compassionate society
Former President George H.W. Bush once said he wanted a
“kinder, gentler nation.” It is a noble goal, but one that he was unable to
achieve, nor has anyone else since. Why? Because the people we have elected to
the highest office are not people of clear conviction and integrity that
inspire others to be better human beings. Remember the line in the movie “As
Good As It Gets” when Jack Nicholson says, “You make me want to be a better
man”? That’s the kind of feeling I’m talking about. To inspire that in others you must
set the example—and Bernie Sanders is doing that all over this
country.
As a Bernie supporter, I have noticed an amazing thing
starting to happen in our country. Through the incredible immediacy and
intimacy of social media, people are connecting with each other. There is a
sense of community—an American community—that doesn’t seem to have existed
before.
As I watch voting results
come in across the country, I am deeply grateful to the people in those states
for having the courage to vote for change, to vote for hope, to vote for integrity.
I felt a glimmer of one-ness
with my fellow citizens I had never felt before—like we are all in this
together. And that is at the core of Bernie’s message. We are one people. Let’s
help each other. Let’s do the right thing. Let’s stop the “me first” attitude
that rears its ugly head so often in our daily lives.
Why we need a political revolution
It takes a lot of courage to change. But I believe that
Bernie is the catalyst for truly bringing about the reform we need in our government and our society. His political revolution embraces the inherent principles of democracy, which is what the United States of America is supposed to uphold: Government of the people, by the people, and for the people. We have strayed and it's time to get back on track. Bernie is the only candidate who can make that happen.
Our ancestors fought for the freedoms many people now take
for granted—the right to vote. The right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The right to be accepted for who you are.
I am just one voter. One American citizen. One mother who
wants the best for her children. And that is why I am voting for Bernie
Sanders.
Back to the grief connection
So… last night I was sitting in the meeting listening to
people talk about their grief and something clicked.
For people who have lost a child (myself included) one of
the most difficult things to deal with in the grieving process is the
unfairness of it. Children are not supposed to predecease their parents. I
still find it impossible to accept Natalie’s passing. It is just wrong. But I
don’t have anyone to blame or be angry at (except the universe, and frankly,
that’s just not good enough).
With the wrongness of losing a child comes a feeling of
powerlessness. There was nothing we could do to save her. Hope dies, too.
When Bernie Sanders announced his candidacy, on a level
buried very deep within me, I saw an opportunity for hope and I was compelled
to DO SOMETHING in a way I never had before in my life. And so political
activist Beth emerged. It came from a deep need, an all-consuming craving, for
there to be fairness and justice in this world.
Natalie is gone. My only hope for her now is that her memory
will live on among those who knew her and those who may be touched by her life. But I can still hope for a better future for Roslyn and Gabriel, for my fellow citizens, and for our planet. I know it’s an
uphill battle. But does that mean we shouldn’t try?
My very insightful and caring
husband
When I shared my revelation with my husband last night after the meeting, I was surprised and touched that he seemed to
have understood my motivation all along. Last summer, he had expressed concern
over me getting too invested in Bernie because he saw from the beginning how it
was connected to Natalie and he didn’t want to see me get crushed. (Like many
people, he was skeptical that Bernie could win against the enormous power of the political Establishment and the Clinton machine.) I am humbled by his insight. Sometimes those who love us know us better than we know ourselves. It just took me longer to figure it out. I am grateful to Christopher for that and so much more.
And I'm pleased to report that he has joined me in feeling the Bern!
I didn't know that George and Barbara had lost their three
year-old daughter Robin until it was mentioned when Barbara Bush died earlier
this year. I'm not sure if the Bushes intentionally kept it private back in the
days George was active in politics or not. But I am pleased to see the Bush
family speaking openly now about their tragic loss all those years ago, and the
lifelong grief George and Barbara endured. 
