Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Much to be thankful for

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It has always been my favorite holiday. I love the feast, I love the togetherness, I love what it stands for. It is good to give thanks, good to show gratitude and appreciate what we have. But now, the holidays are especially difficult because at this time for being with family, we are not together anymore. Natalie is forever missing and the holidays only punctuate this sad fact. This will be our third Thanksgiving without her. We only got to spend two Thanksgivings with her. This alone is so incredibly sad. She was here for such a short amount of time. And yet, I am forever grateful for the time we had with her. It is so precious.

As I reflect on what I am thankful for, I think of my children -- my beautiful Roslyn, my beloved angel Natalie, and now, my sweet unborn baby boy who we are expecting to arrive around April 27th. My THREE children. Yesterday I had my 18-week ultrasound and it was confirmed that we are having a son. We are thrilled, and even more thrilled that he seems to be developing normally and everything is going well so far. My screening test for chromosomal abnormalities came back with a risk of 1 in 40,000, which at my ripe old age of 43 is pretty amazing. Chris and I have spent the last several months since we found out I was pregnant feeling amazed that this is really happening and terrified of what could go wrong. We have been through so much already. It is understandable to worry. But I have decided that worrying doesn't do anyone any good, especially me and the baby. I let Chris do the worrying for both of us, and thankfully, he is starting to do less of that, too.

Now is a time to relax and enjoy and look forward to the promise of another new Adamo. We will always remember his big sister, Natalie, and I look forward to telling him about her. I know he will love her, too. Roslyn is so excited to be a big sister again, even though she wishes it were a sister. I think it's her way of missing Natalie and expressing her grief. I have no doubt that once she sees her tiny little brother, she will fall in love with him, too. We all have so much love in our hearts. Yes, I am thankful.