Sunday, July 29, 2012
Natalie's 7th Birthday
Today would have been Natalie's 7th birthday. I was doing OK in the days leading up to it. I thought I was getting to a better place in my grief. But, today has been really rough. I can't seem to stop crying. I killed a few hours watching a Harry Potter movie double feature with the kids. Gabriel slept on my lap through much of it, which was such a wonderful gift. There's nothing a mother loves more than cradling her sleeping child. But, we can't watch Harry Potter all day and as soon as the movie ended, I started to cry again. After a few minutes to myself rocking in the glider up in what used to be Natalie's room (now Gabriel's), I got the sudden urge to tidy up her garden. Talk about therapeutic! Clipping deadheads off the butterfly bush was so peaceful and pulling up pesky weeds and making it more beautiful really helped. A little white butterfly came along as I was trimming. Very nice! Tonight we will have dinner and a special butterfly-shaped cake. I'll post some pictures later.