Sunday, December 14, 2008

Candles and Winter Wonderland

Right now, Roslyn and Chris are out with friends at the Slater Park "Winter Wonderland" event. I did not go because soon I will be leaving to attend the worldwide candle lighting ceremony of The Compassionate Friends. This is an annual event around the holidays in remembrance of all children who have died. Last year, Roslyn came with me to the event. I think her presence gave many of the other bereaved parents some happiness to see such an adorable young child. This year, Roslyn didn't want to come with me. When her friend invited her to go to the winter wonderland, the choice wasn't difficult for her. Roslyn is all about embracing life and having as much fun as possible, which is as it should be. A small part of me wishes she had the capacity to grieve the way I do, the ability to miss her little sister, and understand the importance of events like tonight's. It is important to remember. It is all we can do now. We must remember. I know Roslyn remembers Natalie, but she was only four when her little sister died. How can anyone expect her to feel the same degree of loss that me and Chris feel? It's not fair to impose such expectations on her. And it is comforting in a way that her youth has spared her this intense pain. I am glad she is free to live her life and be happy. And so, she and Chris are off ooohhhing and aaahhhing over the pretty lights on the Christmas trees. I sit here alone in a dark house, waiting for the time to pack up my pictures of Natalie that I am bringing with me tonight. And it is all OK.

The candle lighting takes place tonight at 7 pm around the globe. Light a candle at 7 pm for Natalie and all children who have died. Remember, remember. Life is so precious.

2 comments:

Jane said...

Dear Beth,
Thank you for the invitation to honor your family and for the honest and compassionate way you walk. Thank you for showing us 'readers' the way. I write your names, Adamos, in my planbook because I wish to remember YOU- all four- in heart and prayer on the ordinary days. Visualizing you healthy and well and carrying your candle. May the light overcome the dark, now in winter and always.
With care,
Jane Allard

katy k said...

now Joe lights a candle every night at dinner for his sister. this is a really nice tradition. thank you for including us in your world.

on another note...i think we will go over to the "winter wonderland" event that roslyn & christopher hit--i heard there is a nine foot tall snowman with a thick RI accent that is not to be missed. unless R or C warns us off...we'll be there saturday!