Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Kindergarten!

Roslyn started kindergarten today! Wow. I knew it would be an emotional time and it was. Roslyn was great. She was excited and ready to go, wearing her new LLBean backpack (in one of her many favorite colors, red). I was happy that Christopher was able to come with us -- after all, there's only one "first day of kindergarten." Roslyn immediately sat down to start drawing a picture of the three of us. "Hold still, Mommy so I can draw you," she'd say. And then I'd accidentally move and she'd have to remind me to hold still. When it came time to say goodbye, she was great. Just gave us each a big hug and kiss. Of course, I was the one who was getting choked up. There goes my little girl, out into the big world... I hope she is happy in kindergarten, happy in life.

I also cried because I should have my little Natalie here to keep me company. I was so looking forward to having this nice one-on-one time with her. Natalie should be here. The fact that she isn't constantly gnaws at me and continually breaks my heart. I miss her beyond words. I can only imagine and wonder what she'd be like now as a busy 3-year-old, getting ready for her turn to start nursery school. Oh, it should have been so wonderful and now it just feels like I'm constantly trying to pick up the pieces of our lives. But it never ever gets picked up. It can't.

2 comments:

Monique said...

Hi Beth,
I'm glad to hear the first day of Kindergarten went well. I hope Roslyn still loves it.
Monique

katy k said...

beth--i haven't read your blog for a long time--i am so glad it is listed in the signature line of your email! it is wonderful to read it. your description of what you imagine natalie's hair looking like if she were starting nursery school really brings her back. i'm really sorry she's not here. it never gets less sad. i'm really sorry. you & christopher & beth are a great family. i'm glad i got to see you today. i wonder if you will write about wiping pub cheese out of roslyn's hair with a paper napkin.