Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Another milestone missed

Each year like so many proud parents, I'm always excited to share those "first day of school" pics of Roslyn and Gabriel. But this time of year is also a painful reminder of the one who is not here.

Yes, Natalie would be starting high school today! It's been hard to get my head around. It just feels kinda surreal and it's just so sad. Everything we're missing out on, that SHE'S missing out on... It breaks my heart that Roslyn doesn't get to share the experience of being in the same school with her sister, playing the part of the big sister, the trail blazer helping Natalie find her way around Classical. It's another one of life's milestones missed.

I'm sharing this photo, which I found the other day while looking through a folder of pics my Mom took in 2005 on her first visit to meet Natalie when she was about one month old. I just really liked it. I always try to imagine what she'd be like now as a bright, beautiful, full-of-life 14 year-old -- and I can conjure up some thoughts, but that's all they'll ever be. Losing Natalie is a pain that will never leave me, nor do I want it to because the measure of the pain is a measure of love. It is endless.

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