Today would have been Natalie's 7th birthday. I was doing OK in the days leading up to it. I thought I was getting to a better place in my grief. But, today has been really rough. I can't seem to stop crying. I killed a few hours watching a Harry Potter movie double feature with the kids. Gabriel slept on my lap through much of it, which was such a wonderful gift. There's nothing a mother loves more than cradling her sleeping child. But, we can't watch Harry Potter all day and as soon as the movie ended, I started to cry again. After a few minutes to myself rocking in the glider up in what used to be Natalie's room (now Gabriel's), I got the sudden urge to tidy up her garden. Talk about therapeutic! Clipping deadheads off the butterfly bush was so peaceful and pulling up pesky weeds and making it more beautiful really helped. A little white butterfly came along as I was trimming. Very nice! Tonight we will have dinner and a special butterfly-shaped cake. I'll post some pictures later.
5 comments:
Happy 7th Birthday beautiful Natalie :) xoxo
You don't know me, I am a total stranger that just happened across your blog by searching through random blogs since I am new to the site.
I felt compelled to comment, as reading some of the things you have written about your family, and your beautiful Natalie really moved me.
No words can properly express such a loss, or how sorry one can feel for another about such a loss. No parent should ever have to go through that.
It seems as if despite everything, you have carried yourself with grace, and I wanted to take the time to thank you for writing things that must have been so difficult to write. It's a reminder about how precious all life is, how cherished.
Bright blessings to you and your family.
Hi Brittney,
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. I appreciate your understanding of what me and my family have been through since losing our baby girl. We are grateful to you and others who have been touched by Natalie's story.
Peace to you,
Beth
I have just come across your blog, and read with tears, the thoughts you had on what would have been your darling's 7th birthday. I am certain that it takes very special parents, to be able to move on and give a happy family life to the children that remain, it must be quite draining at times, like her birthday.. But you have, and your kids are lovely too and will give you much joy as you give them so much love.. do not worry about crying when you feel that deep loss, it is so crucial in order to carry on, that you let out the steam of despair and then you can breath in and carry on... Thank you for sharing so gracefully and carefully what was obviously such a nightmare happening. I am sure your little girl knows how much you love her still... hugs from across the pond, Janzi
<3
Sorry I missed this!
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